How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My hand turned me down
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just high enough for therapy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
