You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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