Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
