When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
