If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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