Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I looked at my own cervix.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
