he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
