When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
