My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
