I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
