just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
