Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
