I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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