and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
