Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There's even glitter on my cock...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
