with your own penis?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I fill condoms, not promises.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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