you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
