hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
