It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
