Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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