Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
