Im at strip club and am horny
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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