yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
