i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize