I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
