I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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