I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
