either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
