For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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