No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you would pick up someone in the library
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
