About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this is an emotional support booty call
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
