i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
