pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
