I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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