There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
