Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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