apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am one with the molecules
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize