He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
