Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl

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(845): View more from New York

so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

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(845): so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again.... http://tfl.nu/lj9p

Replies (22) Good night (785) Bad night (5584)
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(661): View more from California

seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome

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(661): seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome http://tfl.nu/g749

Replies (19) Good night (594) Bad night (3009)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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(770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85

Replies (63) Good night (8022) Bad night (998)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

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(586): Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail. http://tfl.nu/99nr

Replies (9) Good night (3720) Bad night (1114)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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(267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1

Replies (29) Good night (5207) Bad night (1445)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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(603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8

Replies (32) Good night (17910) Bad night (1322)
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(914): View more from New York

Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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(914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd

Replies (12) Good night (2427) Bad night (1177)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?

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(503): So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt? http://tfl.nu/w4he

Replies (15) Good night (3215) Bad night (583)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

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(304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6

Replies (14) Good night (1951) Bad night (563)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.

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(208): Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success. http://tfl.nu/sluv

Replies (1) Good night (1113) Bad night (328)
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(708): View more from Illinois

you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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(708): you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group http://tfl.nu/bihz

Replies (12) Good night (1340) Bad night (518)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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(240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g

Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (341)
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(431): View more from

Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.

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(431): Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches. http://tfl.nu/58c6

Replies (5) Good night (1629) Bad night (231)
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(206): View more from Washington

View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.

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(206): View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well. http://tfl.nu/3wj0

Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (210)

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