Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1425) Bad night (900)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My underwear smells like fireworks.

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  (801): My underwear smells like fireworks. http://tfl.nu/cuz7
  Replies (19) Good night (4860) Bad night (865)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.

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  (919): he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'. http://tfl.nu/h82o
  Replies (13) Good night (3863) Bad night (1330)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics

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  (773): I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics http://tfl.nu/o0a3
  Replies (21) Good night (6553) Bad night (1095)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4781) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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  (515): Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this? http://tfl.nu/woh0
  Replies (9) Good night (5476) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

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  (620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5
  Replies (20) Good night (5138) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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  (860): She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it. http://tfl.nu/dkuo
  Replies (14) Good night (3734) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..

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  (630): There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow.. http://tfl.nu/vffr
  Replies (20) Good night (1558) Bad night (4381)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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  (310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.

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  (612): Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON. http://tfl.nu/8yy5
  Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We were destined to go to rehab together

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  (405): We were destined to go to rehab together http://tfl.nu/ewf5
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff

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  (229): I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff http://tfl.nu/s9sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1305) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.

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  (604): What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/drqh
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (48)

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