I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well