I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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