How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I smell stomach acid.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
