this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
