Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT