whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize