Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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