Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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