I wish I only lived at night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
