No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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