Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
