By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
