Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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