No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
