do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
