Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
