I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
