Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
