shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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