Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
