singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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