It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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