The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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