I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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