I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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