Sry I called you an 8
I wish I could teleport
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
