I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
